Tamparan dr. G pagi2....

Hi...
pagi ini, gw hampir kalah...
gw bangun subuh, dan langsung diHajar oleh ex gw dipikiran gw...
gw coba tidur lagi.. sulit... SH*T

dan akhirnya pagi ini, gw kembali disadarkan oleh Dokter gw,
pagi ini, (Thank God!)
gw dapet tamparan yang bikin gw lega...

1. Lega karena dibantu

2. Free of cost

dr. G emang baik banget.... gw bisa ngerasa dia marah banget tadi...

A : G, hm...

G: hm?
G: apa kabar?

A: Actually, now I remember about Ben, because he was told me, he's in bali now, and with his new young man
A: :)

G: forget him...

A: Yes
G: take your focus away from him... it costs just your energy... try to be happy BECAUSE he is happy with his new BF

A: Yes... Now I'm on my way for that, I try to build happiness, Because he's happy
A: I told you I just remember him, I'm not sad
A: I'm not happy but most important is I'm NOT SAD

G: be honest with yourself - just before, waktu ingat dia, your feeling was closer to sad or to happy - honestly!

A: In between! But aku sedang mengalahkan rasa sedih! Aku bisa! Aku gak mau memulai pagi dengan sedih

G: don't say "in between" - dare to be honest, what was closer sadness or happiness?
A: Happiness!

gabrielbali: remember the moment as you remembered him, honestly

A: Just remmber him, Thinking about him, Imagine him and his BF
A: To be honest... No sadness, no tears...

G: last time - try to answer honestly... as you remembered him that he is in Bali now with his new BF, your feeling was happiness? you are sure?

A: No

G: you said "in between" which means neutral, but neutral doesn't really exist.... people say "in between" or "biasa" or "neutral" if they don't want to say the truth... believe me!

A: Yes :(

G: don't lie! don't lie yourself!

A: But now I try to build my happiness G

G: I'm talking about the moment as you remembered
G: aku berani taruhan, rasamu tadi lebih dekat sedih dari bahagia...

A: Ya, Dan aku juga bilang.. The important think, no tear anymore! Biasanya full of tears!!

G: you was closer to the feeling of sadness because you still grudge what he have got (for example his new BF)

A: Pada awalnya memang dekat dengan kesedihan... Tapi skr sama sekali ngga!
A: Was.. But now I'm not!
A: Cause I think, percuma... Apa dia pikir tentang aku?

G: "Dan aku juga bilang.. The important think, no tear anymore! Biasanya full of tears!!" - why you are talking about tears? you are closer to tears than to happiness - YOU SHOULD HONEST WITH YOURSELF - BE HONEST FIRST AND AFTER THAT YOU WILL BE ABLE TO CHANGE SOMETHING!

A: G AKU UDA JUJUR... Than why kamu push aku terus???

G: YOU STILL ALLOW SADNESS DEEP INSIDE.. TANPA SADAR
G: I push you because Sadness will come again from deep inside, cause sadness IS STILL inside!
G: MERELAKAN - thats the most important!
G: I'm sure you dont really allow Ben to be happy with his new BF, you still grudge... as long as we grudge, we never can get happy!
G: So, I have to continue my work - hopefully you are able to understand my message...

dr. G pergi... sign out...
dia marah sama gw... dan emang bener kata2 dia, "gue sok2 seneng"
gw masih ketik beberapa kata.. dia masih bales...


A: Than why you not support me?
A: Aku bilang berkali2
A: Aku sedang coba bangun rasa senang
A: Aku coba hilang kan rasa sedih
A: Why??? Why kamu push dengan pertanyaan yang sama??


G: bisa bicara?

dia telp.... hening... nangis.... telp di tutup!

A: Aku jujur memang sedih...
A: And I need you support me!
A: G, maksud aku....
A: Dan aku sedang lawan sedih itu
A: I said, aku gak mau memulai hari dengan sedih
A: Tapi, akhirnya....
A: kamu bilang, harus lawan, harus mengalihkan, harus merubah, dan aku sedang DALAM PROSES itu!!
A: My self is supporting me... Why I told you?? Cause I need you to know, and support me
A: I always try to smile
A: Smile
A: Cause I need smile
A: Not sadness!!
A: Then just support me to catch my happiness
A: Please
A: Aku sedang dalam proses merelakan!

dr. G tambah marah...

G: if you want to remove sadness or tears DON'T TALK ABOUT SADNESS OR TEARS! - If you want to install HAPPPINESS you have to talk about HAPPINESS - forget SADNESS, TEARS and all that BULLSHIT!!!
G: forget even those words! minum obat penenang skr, setengah aja... sudah sarapan?? kalau belum, isi dulu, 15menit baru minum, SETENGAH!

A: Ok

G: aku ga pernah bilang kamu harus LAWAN sedih, kalau kita lawan sedih, sedih mulai tumbuh
G: Focus sama apa yg kamu mau dapat - for example - HAPPINESS, take away your focus from any negative thoughts or feelings
G: if you Remember Ben
G: decide immediately to feel happy or LEAVE IT, DON'T think about him or his new situation
G: if you are not able to start happiness SECARA langsung, buang semua pikiran yg membuat kamu sedih!
G: aku bisa merasa apakah kamu sedih atau bahagia - di antara kata mu yg kamu kirim, aku bisa baca, percayalah!

A: Ya.. Now give me the trick G, untuk masalah pagi ini??

G: A, sighhh... kamu gila?? atau hilang ingatan?? apa aku gak berguna buat kamu selama ini?? trick apa?? kamu yang memutuskan... , pikir yg enak, itu aja!

A: Kalau ben lebih kuat?

G: lebih kuat? - take away the power, you decide if something is powerful or not! - don't think or remember something/someone what/who could make you sad or angry, think or remember what makes you happy, nothing else!
G: you are really stupid, instead of putting your focus on new nice options, you look behind and complain (at least deep inside, thinking, crying, complaining)

gw dikatain stupid sama dr.G..
bener juga sih, masa gw harus ditampar mulu.. baru sadar.. PLAK PLAK PLAK!!!
At least its work... gw jadi ga sedih..


G: thats why I alwaus tell you BE HONEST!
G: always

A: OK G
A: :)
A: Big thanks and I wish I can hug you!

G: do you understand?
A: Focus on new nice options
A: aku sangat mengerti


akhirnya kami merubah topic, kami mengobrol tentang hal2 yang enak,
dia coba ngomongin "burung".... ahahahaha....
are you gay dr.G?? ini cuman pertanyaan dalam hati gw aja, gw gak mau merusak semua.

He's one of my bestfriend...

Well, tamparan pagi ini bikin aku sadar, mudah2an ga keulang lagi.
gw memang masih memikirkan dia... tapi ternyata prioritas yang lebih menyenangkan banyak.


akhirnya memutuskan untuk pakai baju terbaik untuk ke kantor..
dress code for today.. Winter! white... and FRESH!
kemeja hijau dengan jumper putih....

dan memutuskan untuk ke PIM nonton avatar after office.. (telat!!!)



dan, menutup blog dengan senyum dan say...



Keep happy!


A
-Pengen-kawin-sama-dr.G-